Beware the Birdman Ladies!!
I was cruising online and came across an article on yahoo that I KNOW will change my life forever...
The time is coming when I can purchase my very own invisibility cloak. THAT'S RIGHT - Invisibility!
But Birdman, how is this going to help you with the ladies..????
I'm glad you asked. After a long and painfully detailed review of what can be called a "love life" in only the most oddest of ways, I have determined that my biggest problem with attracting the ladies is frankly... well.. my looks, my physical appearence, basically my complete lack of male hotness.
But how will the cloak of invisibility help birdman..??
Good question. My theory is that if I can get my hands on a cloak of invisibility, then as I approach the ladies, I don the cloak and walllla!!! they cannot see me thus the normal initial female reaction of repulsion is removed from the equation and the sweet talkin can begin (added bonus for me - I can steal drinks from others and give them to said ladies - making the moves on the ladies and saving cash $$)
When is this great cloak going to be available Birdman?
Probably not soon enough. But, the time to start is now. I can start butterin up the wifey now and hopefully in about 10 years, if the cloak is available, then she will be so enamored with me that she will gladly accept me as "the playah" and "big pimp" that I will be.
I hope the cloaks come in velvet.
posted by birdman @ 7:02 PM
7 Comments:
Does the cloak do something about your gas?
God I hope not. I am programming my mind and body change my gas so that it's effects act like a "roofie" on the ladies - this is my failsafe.
Yawn...I took a theoretical physics class in 1994 where we calculated the physical characteristics of lenses that would bend light (and bend it back) to make things between the lenses invisible. And Predator thought of the idea in 1987, anyway.
The trick isn't the calculations, it's in making the cloth.
Are you getting all philosophical, like the myth about the "emperor who had no clothes"?
big deal HERO - I took a course in advaned hyperflatulation theories and space age polymers with an additional free course of the same name for the low low price of 3 flex payments of $34.99 in 1989.
MORE BLOGS! I need more blogs!
Props to mister name for having his long staff called "charmed". Is that an official designation you can get? What organ - i - zation gives those out (see how I seperated the "organ" from the rest - that's funny stuff)
whos the Ice Ogre - I'm betting it's The Great American Zero - Hero or That Guy
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