Potent Potables for a $1000
I have a mish-mash of items today - no general theme so here goes:
A new blogger has been added. Check out "I'm an Audioslave". If the blog is anything as strange as the person behind it then it is worth your time although the beeeyatch aint updated his sight with my logo. Ingrates I swear
Another item on the list is ex-coworkers. It's amazing how they try to make you feel bad by how cool their new job and environment are. I received the following from an e-mail from an ex-coworker about reasons why the new job was better:
- The bathroom has fancy schmancy soap and lotion
- Free coffee, tea and water (the good stuff)
- The El Paseo Mall is across the street with a Yardhouse
- I will most likely start working from home next week
- The entire place shuts down for two weeks (paid) at christmas
- and finally the job is way easier (literally "can you send this e-mail, can you create this database
- Do you have a bathroom with KISS written in big letters on the wall along with a small porno pencil drawing?
- We have hand brewed coffee done by an ex-marine
- Happy hour at the Yardhouse by yourself sucks
- Since you will be a hermit at home by yourself I'm guessing you will forget to take a razor to your legs and pits sasquatch
- We shut down to - we are just here and do it more than just at x-mas
- and we all know you don't know how to make a database so don't get crazy
Finally, every now and then you have a new experience, maybe not one you wanted, but one that will stick with you forever. Mine happened last week in the men's bathroom at work (another reason to stay at our work!!). As I exited the stall from a very relaxing session I went to wash my hands and I was struck by the unbelievably strong odor of cigarettes from the other guy washing his hands. It was as if he was actually smoking right then and there - it was that strong. As I proceeded to wash my hands, that cigarette odor mixed with the smell of crap (I swear it was not mine.... really... despite what THAT GAY is going to post as a comment) and I was suddenly not a happy Birdman. I honestly gagged once so I made haste (if you like I can get you the recipe - not as difficult as you might think) for the fresh hallway air (another reason to stay at our work!!). I also thought it odd that the person let their glasses fall into the sink and get covered with soap,water and the crap that came the hands. This apparently is "THE WAY" to clean your glasses. Now I know!!!!!
posted by birdman @ 7:03 PM
6 Comments:
Nice post! Chalk full of funny stuff. I'd be curious to know who the "offender" was, since I was not there to be blamed.
The ex-coworker better remember her friends when the time comes.
I'm pretty sure the Birdman wears glasses. Was this, by chance, your recipe for cleanliness?
I'd say you were back - thank God. We have been lacking that certain something that only the Birdman can bring us.
Thanks for the write up regarding Imanaudioslave. His postings should be entertaining and informative.
And in ref to our ex-coworker...I'm on the fence. I think she might have lucked out in the job department but she will certainly never work with a crew like this one again. It is hard to mimic and harder to replace. That being said, the whole fancy-schmancy soap and lotion in our restrooms is just too dang hard to fathom...I'd be happy with ventilation.
Haha..yeah that Audioslave guy is out of his mind...he will update it as soon as his dial up works.
dial up???!!!!!! You are TOTALLY GAY!!!
thanks for sharing your bathroom antics...YUM!
And does her fancy new workplace have a booger Zorro to make his mark on the bathrooms there? I doubt it.
Post a Comment
<< Home